COUPLES THERAPY

 COUPLES THERAPY  is  done using different popular schools like the systems, Cognitive,Behavioural, Experiential Psychodynamic etc. It is difficult to say which is the best counselling approach.

I follow the Experiential Dynamic Therapy model.  Emphasis is also on being in touch with our emotions and with those of our partner and being able to communicate more openly.

 

ISSUES USUALLY ADDRESSED:

 

1.COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN OR RECURRING ARGUMENTS

2.TRUST ISSUES AND NON COMMITMENT

3.DISINTEREST AND DISTANCING

4.SEXUAL DIFFICULTIES

5.HOMOSEXUALITY AND BISEXUALITY

6.DEPRESSION 

7.ANXIETY

8.AGGRESSION AND MOODINESS

9.INTERNET ADDICTION

10. ANGER ,PHYSICAL AND SEXUAL VIOLENCE

11.ALCOHOL RELATED ISSUES

12.DETACHMENT

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Relationships either DELIVER, DELAY OR DISAPPOINT. Coming to terms with reality can be extremely tough and one may spend a great deal of time trying to correct people and situations but get disappointed anyhow.

 

PROCESS

 

  • Couples  can send a mail . A reply with available slots,fee,forms and any other details requested will be mailed back.
  • An adult intake form will need to be filled up before the session begins
  • The first session is a TRIAL SESSION, lasting one and a half hours. The doctor also ascertains the will of each partner to do the therapy and what they would like to achieve going forward.After the TRIAL session the couple and doctor will explore the possibility of further sessions .
  •  If agreed upon, subsequent therapy sessions are scheduled either together or separately after each session  and  the next slot booked beforehand.
  • Focus is not only on how couples communicate but also how they respond to each other non-verbally. Patterns are discussed and healthier ways of communicating their wants are explored which are acceptable to both .
  • In certain situations, where the disturbance may involve intimacy,detachment,fragility or severe breakdown,severe depression,unregulated anger or anxiety,panic symptoms or suicidality, a longer period with more individual sessions may be required and couples are advised to come separately for individual therapy for some time either with the same therapist or different ones .
  • The doctor reserves the right to choose the format  as well as refer the couple or one partner to another therapist if any sticky issues develop during the process due to which therapy is not progressing.
  • Confidentiality : Unless there is a threat of harm to self or  either partner or anybody else and mandates an active intervention by the doctor , request to maintain confidentiality will be respected in individual interaction. The purpose of therapy is to build honest communication with each other,and  the partners are constantly encouraged to speak openly to each.

THE AIM OF THERAPY IS

1. Working towards the ability to form deeper and closer bonds

2. Focusing on deep emotional experiences together and thereby getting a perspective into each                  others world

3. Working with the I vs WE paradigm

4. Working toward closeness even if there are strong individual differences

5. Restoring intimacy

6. Working through past and present issues and allowing more truthful and honest communication            without fear

COUPLES THERAPY DOES NOT

1.  Enforce people to stay together,however if a couple walk in together it will look at their healthy wish to try to make the relationship work

2. Require people to break off other relationships to work on this one

3. Pin blame on either partner or significant family for any problems the couple may be facing

4. Work on right and wrong, good and bad or negative and positive.

5. Expect couples to take breaks from each other,live separately , reduce communication,ADJUST or COMPROMISE.

CHILDREN DEALING WITH DIVORCE/CONFLICT OF PARENTS

One of the huge difficulties one experiences while dealing with relationship difficulties is how it may impact the relationship with the children . We cannot ignore that the children are privy to a lot that happens at home and have no one to work it out  with other than their little friends who are too little themselves. Their complex situation is truly difficult where they love both parents but have the fear of losing them . The therapy helps  them to accept reality and work through the loss or fear of loss as the case may be

This can be addressed by

1. Addressing the issue in separate sessions with the couple/either parent

2. Allowing slightly older children to come in for a session  with or without parents.