Sona Kakar
COUNSELING NEEDED FOR HIM/HER AND NOT ME!!!!
“I just came here because she wanted me to . I have no problems.She is making a big deal out of small things .Sometimes physical fights happen between partners.”
1.COUNSELING A PERSON WHO DOES NOT THINK HE HAS A PROBLEM
It appears that the person is not aware that his actions are a problem in the first place. So when a problem is not evident to a person ,if a counsellor begins by addressing it ,an inevitable conflict will come up between the the patient and the counsellor and instead of the work being intrapsychic in the patient,it will become interpersonal between the therapist and the patient and lead to arguments ,quite like the patient has with his spouse or his colleagues.
2.CHALLENGE THE DENIAL NOT THE PERSON
Here the job of the counsellor is to work through the DENIAL by various techniques ,till an internal focus is established .Lets say when the patient can stop externalizing the issue by blaming his wife .
3.USE SKILL AND NOT FORCE
The idea is not to FORCE the patient to acknowledge it under duress and threat ,rather use well advanced techniques to work through the defense of denial ,so that the patient can express the problem clearly, see how the problem is creating difficulties in his life, wants to work through it ,and wants the therapist to facilitate it. Motivation can take place once the person can see the benefits of therapy for himself .